Invalidating parents

Posted by / 09-Apr-2020 11:44

Invalidating parents

Under the central that rage is not only a common response but a necessary one.

Most adult children of a borderline parent, have in one way or another suffered greatly due to the rage and anger of the borderline parent's anger/rage whether it is obviously shown or not.

I was the child of two parents with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) growing up.

My mother had BPD and my father had BPD and Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Both were highly invalidating and emotionally unavailable.

Adult children of a personality disordered parent or parents need their own recovery.They tend to demand unreasonable levels of emotional and material support from those least able to provide it.Plagued by irrational fears and anxieties, BPD parents often transfer feelings of self-hatred onto their children.One of the major consequences of my parents having Borderline Personality Disorder wasn't only that I went on to develop it and be diagnosed with it, (subsequently I recovered from BPD in 1995 at the age of 38) but, how the fact that they had BPD obliterated any secure bonding or attachment. In an ironic and painful role reversal, BPD parents can actually raise children to be their caretakers.They may burden even very young children with adult responsibilities.

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They worked and had some functionality but drank every night and weekends.