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I wanted to know if they had ever dated a fat person before.
I wanted to rule out a fetish and figure out whether or not they liked me as a person.
By now I hope we can all agree that Valentine’s Day is, well, a little bit silly.
The last time I stressed out over this alleged holiday was in fifth grade, when the printer ran out of ink in the middle of printing cards for my classmates.
The bad news is, dating always comes with a certain amount of BS, no matter what your size.
And when you’re plus-sized (or if your appearance doesn’t conform to mainstream beauty standards in other ways), dating can seem fraught with even more challenges.
It’s what all my heroes told me it would be: AWESOME. I study the way my role-model hot, fat women shoot their pics — in good lighting, from an angle that isn’t designed to hide or distort anything, and in a posture that signals confidence and comfort — and I emulate them.
Despite the way I was taught to hide, I want people to know exactly what I look like before they decide whether they’d like to take me out.
When I was a little girl, people said awful things about fat women, and I believed they could see my future.
Comedians told jokes about how a fat girl will never cheat on you (with who?!
My early adulthood was defined by fat voices like Lindy West, Samantha Irby, Roxane Gay, Virgie Tovar, and Lizzo. They gave me images I’d never seen before and a point of view I’d never heard before: fat people are valid. At least one small corner of the world was playing my song. When I started dating seriously at 19, I was wracked with the same insecurities that every fat femme feels.