Dating someone with less intelligence
Doing this means thinking about if the words we are using are describing the reality or creating the reality.Usually, I have found that if I let go of my reactions and distance myself emotionally, I will find some truth. There are several kinds of intelligence, although when speaking of intelligence most of us assume we are talking about book smarts.It implies that men want women who are not intelligent. Men do want intelligent women but they are not attracted to many of the traits that are very often found in high quantities in intelligent successful women. In fact, competition is the opposite of partnership. To be the better parent, to be a bigger martyr, to make more money, etc.Men want smart women but they want partnership and a lot of women don’t know how to leave their type A tendencies at work.Drama makes us feel the same emotions associated with healthy, natural sexual tension like uncertainty and nervousness and so many often mistake drama for passion and embark on a toxic roller coaster ride.But drama lacks the excited anticipation, the admiration for the other that natural sexual tension has.
In the dance of dating for traditional, heterosexual men and women, the chase is part of the excitement and fuels the attraction.The assumption is that men prefer less intelligent women because women with a high IQ are often passed over in favor of “ditzes” — according to these smart, rejected women. According to the study mentioned in the article “Men are threatened by intelligent women” by the Independent; “Men are attracted to the idea of dating intelligent women — but don’t actually like the reality of it.”I myself at one time believed this to be true and I’ve spoken with many women who had this suspicion as well.In the dating scene, to self-identified intelligent women, it appears true that men prefer dating women who aren’t as smart, who don’t have careers, who aren’t an “equal.” I’ve confronted men with this idea and heard rounds of denial that they love smart women and smart women excite them, but the reality is different.But someone who is successful does not achieve that success based on intelligence alone.In addition to intelligence, successful people tend to also be driven, competitive, single minded, goal-oriented.
To get past this, I have to get rid of any preconceived notions or biases or grudges I might have and I try to see the dilemma in as raw a fashion as possible.