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Posted by / 15-Sep-2019 13:46

David Rose has compiled (named for the delightful ad “They call me Naughty Lola.

Run of the mill beardy physicist — male, 46”) was featured on NPR, the self-depreciating seekers were called “the pathetic, the downtrodden and the ever hopeful.” Oh, no. To others, I’m just another cross-dressing pharmacist. Tall, handsome, well-built, articulate, intelligent, sensitive, yet often grossly inaccurate man, 21.

I promise an intensity of sexual joy unexpected in the LRB. The complete list of my sexual conquests: 1994-1995—Anna; 1996—Julia, Alison; 1997—Italian girl at Karl’s party, Claire (Clare? I, on the other hand, am 4’10”, have the looks of Herve Villechaize and carry an odour of wheat. You know who you are and, no, I don’t want to meet either Bismarck, Bethmann Hollweg, or Prince Chlodwig zu Hohenlohe-Schillingsfürst, however admirable the independence he gave to secretaries of state may have been. I smoke, I drink, I talk waaaay too much and think even more than that, I swear like a longshoreman, I’m usually covered in dog hair, I do not order salad as a full meal, I always want to Talk About It, I might be funnier than you, I want to be taken care of but hate feeling weak, I’m completely disorganized, I will keep cuddling until you pry me off you (and so will my dogs), I say “awesome” a lot, I don’t lie even if it’s easier, I tell my girlfriends everything, I expect to come, and I’ve been told repeatedly that I scare the crap out of men.

Are the readers going to say, ‘No I didn’t mean for you to print that ad? ’ They were consistently like that from there on in. The cynical, dark-humored, quirky, but literate descriptions are tinged with existential despair and CV’s full of failed relationships.Originally designed to match intelligent people based on their literary interests, readers immediately ganged up on the personals section like Amazon reviewers and twisted it for their own purposes. Now people turn to the personals ads first, then read the book reviews.They were, as Rose told NPR, instead “instantly very, very silly.” In a I thought to myself, ‘This isn’t going to be good. What an idiot I am.’ But I work on the Bowie principal—do something once and it’s a mistake; do it three times and it’s an arrangement.’ We had to let it go for a couple of issues. The ads are the exact inverse of the clichéd, bragging, bitter, disturbing (in the case of The Village Voice), or inarticulate American equivalent.They brought in a number of Dear Abby-types, and one of the other members of the panel was a woman who ran the personals for a massive agency. You’ve got a sense of narrative; you have a sense of a very specific reality; you have a very distinct voice. There’s an awful lot of silly and outrageous and full on non-sequiturs:_**In February next year **I will begin work in my garden on a 8 working scale model of the Karakumsky Canal, which stretches 1,200km from Haun-Khan to Ashkhabad, Turkmenistan. This is, after all, the .**ROSE: **It’s an interesting slight of hand on their part. But here, if nobody responds to you, you can say you were just playing the game. They worry and fuss about their ads as much as anybody writing anything. These personals can take upwards of 20 phone calls to get right. Or they phone up and say, ’Ahhh, I may have emailed you this weekend—_Tall, handsome, well-built, articulate, intelligent, sensitive, yet often grossly inaccurate man, 21.She was appalled, just outraged at some of the ads we were publishing. Those are three elements to good writing.**FRENCH: **This is a form—like a sonnet or a Borges-ian fiction, in it’s own perverse way, isn’t it? It irrigates a course of 800km and is the largest in the world. It’s a way of distancing yourself from the possibility of rejection. A lot of anxiety goes into these—’Should I be saying this? Cynics (and some cheap Brentwood psychiatrists) may say ’pathological liar’, but I like to use creative with reality’. 0620_ROSE: That one cuts to the chase of the adverts that you read in all of the other magazines where they’re advertising these tremendous specimens of human kind, but they’re in a lonely-hearts column. This guy’s cutting right to it—it’s all bullshit.**FRENCH: **Do these ads make any money for the ? I can tell you categorically, emphatically, that we don’t.

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